If pain must come, may it come
quickly. Because I have a life to
live, and I need to live it in the
best way possible. If he has to
make a choice, may he make it
now. Then I will either wait for
him or forget him- Paulo Coelho
She could swear she hasn’t seen him act that way before,never in her wildest dream had she thought he would.
She creates sugarymountains out of unpleasant mole hills. Her mom described her as a “self-willed canvas,” defined as “a blank canvas that doesn’t require a painter to create beautiful paintings.” She was quite capable of creating her own world withpaints and brush of her own construction.
Yet with that avid imagination of hers she never saw this coming. She was distracted by her purported definition of reality.
She had gone ahead against all odds, she was the wise one. Several voices and fingers pointing her towards his countless flirtations were dismissed. The avalanche of emotions hearose clouded her thinking and made her numb to reality. It blinded her reasoning that the handwriting on the wall, bold, underlined, italicized and even highlighted failed to get her attention. She simply waved it away as another ruse created by her so called haters ; they were jealous she found truelove.
Now she sits, sipping coffee, tears dropping from her eyes as she glanced at his smiling face on her Ipad. She cursed under her breath why she didn’t see that space between his teeth as the distance between the words in his mouth and the one in his heart. Her vivid imagination lauded as herstrength has become her Achilles heel. She had convinced herself that though a pig will always go back to the mud, her own pig can be cleaned and clothed in ruby. She showered him with love, drowned him in sex and choked him with gifts.She had happily ever after fantasies that will make Walt Disney shudder.
She scrolled through his pictures, zoomed closely to view his spotless face, pointed nostril and thick cherry lips that always has a magnetic pull to kiss. Then pushed the back button, tapped select all and then tapped delete.She just didn’t want to be reminded of his dubious ways by his phoney smile.
She stood up from the seat she had been glued to and madefor her closet, fetched out his clothes. She gathered them in a pile andbundled them outside. She came back in through the back door and began scoutingfor every gift he had given to her. Smashing them on the ground as she wept,cursing for falling helpless in love with him. She was a fool in love and foolsalways end up with broken hearts. Hers wasn’t just broken, it had been smashedin a thousand pieces and she was more than certain that never will she loveanother so deep. Her wanderings of love have been nothing but bleak, she alwayslove the wrong men. Ironically, the tell-tale signs always existed but shefails to see or rather chose to ignore they existed, and her supposedlyromantic tale always end sour.
She gathered all his belongings and stared at the heap forfew seconds, made up her mind, poured petrol from the 12 liters jerry-can shewas holding. Lit up a match and threw it at the rubble lying in front of her aseverything engulfed in flames. She stared at the flames through tear filledeyes and remembered her mother’s words; “Open your eyes and see, don’t keeploving one who is playing you. Love may be blind but certainly not foolish.”
She cursed again, her heart ached as tears kept flowing butdeep down she knew she would fall again. She never learns from her mistakes.She just knew it deep down and the thought of that sends chill down her spine.
Here’s a lil bio about the writer (I call him Jay Jay) :
I tell pictures, snap stories and I question answers. You can stalk me on Instagram @bekexjj where my addiction to black and white is revealed or you can see my failed attempt at not writing on my blog www.4unansweredprayers.wordpress.com which has nothing to do with prayers I can assure you. I have a dream that one day my eyes will become a digital camera to capture pictures more awesome than the eyes can see.