Lost  (Finalé)

I could swear that I heard my mum’s voice in my unconscious state, but my eyes felt so heavy and my body felt numb. I was unable to open my eyes as I just laid there without moving a muscle.

“Toke pls open your eyes oh… hay God! awọn ọta mi ti ṣe aṣeyọri (my enemies have succeeded) how can I lose my two children in one day?” My mum lamented
“Don’t worry madam she’ll be fine” a female voice said

Meanwhile; the search for my brother had commenced back at home. All efforts made to find him proved futile, my brother was nowhere to be found.

Finally, the drug administered on me wore off completely and I was able to open my eyes. I saw my mum talking to a lady in white at the door, I could conclude by her looks that she was the doctor.
“Where’s Ade?” I said, opening my eyes slowly
“Oh Jesus thank you! Toke you are alive” my mum said, I noticed the eye bags beneath her eyes. It was obvious she hadn’t slept in days, I became worried.
“They’re still looking for your brother, I’m sure they’ll find him” my mum said with a convincing smile
The lady in white walked up to me and did the necessary checkup and concluded that I was fit to go back home giving my mum strict instructions that I had enough rest and shouldn’t be put in any stressful condition.

Weeks passed still no sign of Ade, I missed him so much and mum did too. Life was never the same and in some way, I blamed myself for everything that happened, I should have warned Ade about the looming danger but I didn’t. I prayed day and night that my brother would one day come back home but it seemed the heavens were shut on me.

“Ade my guy! You have done well!” Chief said
“Thank you very much Chief, I hope to do more business with you in future” Ade said with a wicked smile across his face

My nightmares had resumed in full force again and I saw Ade dressed in black and in the midst of dangerously armed men. What shocked me more was Ade seemed like their leader because they were paying homage to him. I woke up scared and confused and I told mum about it, as usual she took it up the best way she knew how to…Prayers.

“Femi, I need to go back home. My mum and sister would be worried, I’m even sure they think I’m dead” Ade said
“Guy, shey you hear wetin baba tell us? If you no hear make I rephrase am for you. Baba say, if you wan succeed for this drug business wey we do, we have to cut of our family members because the day we set our eyes on any of them, that day our jazz would fade and we’ll die” Femi said with a sigh
“I remember all that baba said that night. I just wish things were different” Ade said as he stood up with Femi to prepare for their next mission.
Side Note; You have to read my last post here to understand this post ❤

P.S: I’m not a Yoruba girl, my yoruba friend and Google came to my rescue.

Thank you all for the love you showed me in my previous posts and thanks for reading.



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LOST

“Ade!! Ade!!” I screamed 

Running frantically trying to catch up with the shadow ahead of me, I could swear that was Ade right in front of me. But why was he running??
I couldn’t stop running, I was panting heavily… I tried to keep up but he was faster…
“Toke, wake up!” My mum shook me vigorously
“You’re having nightmares again” She said
Rubbing my eyes, still trying to understand what that dream meant
“This was different mum” I said
“We need to see Pastor Femi this time, all these nightmares has to stop” my mum said with a stern look on her face
“I’ll be fine ma” I said, looking at the wall clock, it was just 2am in the morning.
I have been having nightmares ever since I almost got kidnapped on my way back from the market, I had gone there to get some groceries from my mum when a group of guys stopped me to ask for direction to the post office, they weren’t familiar with the area so I had to guide them which was stupid of me but thank God at that time, I bumped into my friend Osaretin who insisted I join her to the market. That was when i noticed these guys had ulterior motives because they suddenly said they weren’t going again to the post office, thanked me and walked away hurriedly. Kidnapping was rampant at that time and i heard different stories of how alot of people were being taken as hostages.

“Your daughter has a spiritual problem” Pastor Femi said
My mother had finally succeeded in dragging me along with her to a church I didn’t vibe with at all, but she’s my mum what could I possibly do??
I rolled my eyes after he said this, I knew there was nothing wrong with me. It was just fear that beclouded my thoughts and dreams.
“Yeee! Pastor ṣãnu fun mi (have mercy on me) she’s my only daughter and the Apple of my eyes” my mum said with tears streaming down her face
I tried so hard not to laugh because this was a freak show to me
“Do not cry ma, there’s nothing God cannot do. We’ll have to embark on a 7days fasting from 6am-3pm, we’ll break together here in church” He said
While he prayed, I had already decided that I wasn’t going to fast or pray either.

“Ade! Ade!, where has this boy gone to again? He never stays at home” my mum said sitting down on the only living couch we had at home

Ade, is my senior brother. Who rounded up his service 2years ago but couldn’t secure a job and so he resorted to drinking and gambling, he practically became useless. We barely talked much but whenever we did, it was an entirely different feeling. He was clearly the only one who understood me after my dad passed on, one thing i failed at was stopping my brother’s drinking habit.

“Toke, I hope you heard all that the pastor said? We’ll start the fasting tomorrow” my mum said as she brought out the prayer book Pastor Femi gave her, the title of the book was “WAR AGAINST NIGHTMARE PRINCIPALITIES”
I was clearly going into the battlefield without an armor or sword, I giggled at the thought of this
“What is funny? I hope you’re not taking this matter lightly because you must be delivered from whatever spirit that is disturbing you Oni dojuti mi (don’t put me in shame)” she said looking at me like I was possessed
“Ok ma” was all I said as I went into my room to ponder on the dream I had about my brother earlier

Shortly as I closed my eyes, trying to get a little sleep, I heard my mum’s voice in the palor I couldn’t really hear her but she kept saying “Where? When? Egba mi O (Help me)”
I ran to the palor, and met my brother’s friend Femi with my mum who was now crying profusely
“What happened?” I asked Femi
“It’s your brother Ade, we were all together playing draft when he told us that he wanted to use the restroom. We didn’t see him after some mins and decided to go and check, only for us to see his clothings right in front of the rest room. We searched and searched but we couldn’t find Ade” Femi said
I didn’t even hear the last statement before I fainted.

Scary Goals

Hello dearies ☺

First of all, I want to apologise for my absence, work took over and I barely have time for myself or my blog and sometimes too you could blame it on laziness 🙈.

What did i miss? 😄

I know you’ll be wondering why I came up with this topic, reason is because I have been doing alot of thinking these past few weeks and months. The year is gradually coming to an end and if you rush back to look at that little notebook where you penned down your goals, I can bet only 50 or 60 percent of your goals were achieved. Should you be sad? Should you be worried? Yes, it’s normal to feel that way, but should that deter you? No. Take those unaccomplished goals with you to the next year, those goals may not have been accomplished due to certain factors which was definitely not your fault. Try to sit down and plan your new year with a positive mind.

I’ll use my self as an example, while serving I wanted to get a good job at the end of service immediately. But you know, life had other plans coupled with our beautiful economy, I got done in November… still no job, the year was already coming to an end, depression seeped in because man was broke. But that didn’t stop me, the following year by February I got my present job, though not what I expected but it took me out of my location and has shapened me up greatly.

One major key is “STOP COMPARING OTHERS LIFESTYLE TO YOURS” we are all on different levels and we have our different struggles. Truth is, no one can accomplish their goals totally, because the more you accomplish, the more you set extra goals. Do not rush in life, like someone said “Slow and steady wins the race”

Learn to put God first in whatever goals you set. There was something I used to do while setting my goals, I usually pray first after writing down my goals and after that, I find myself striking out certain goals because, I know within myself that those goals cannot be achieved now or probably God has other plans. So, commit whatever you do in God’s hands.

Your goals are never too big or scary to accomplish, work towards accomplishing it with the same vigor you used to write them down. 😉

By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands. You can

Mark Victor Hansen

Hope a sister didn’t bore you? So I’ll really love to get a feedback from you… have you been able to accomplish your goals for this year? Share some tips about how you did it, so the rest of us could learn a thing or two.

A big thank you to those who have been loyal to Toks David, y’all are the real MVP. ❤ God bless you.

P.S: I’ll be starting an interview series soon. 💃

Broken Dreams

“My name is David Jacobs, I am from a family of 5, the first son and child of my parents. I am from Anambra state, My hobbies are…” 

Pens up! Came the teacher’s voice. Staring at my exam sheet before me, I knew I had failed this particular exam, this was supposed to be an Essay about the economy of my Country but here I was describing myself and telling stories about my family. I couldn’t be blamed, a lot had happened to me over the years and I allowed these issues affect my studies, already wasted my years in school trying to get a BSC in Marketing but I kept failing, all my mates had already gotten theirs and were far ahead of me. Lecturers already gave up on me and even some of my course mates advised me to just quit and go into business.

“David! David!” my sister Ada called out with her tiny voice.

“Mama is calling you oh” she said

Ada was my only sister, I lost my other siblings through a strange sickness, this sickness affected each one of us but I and my sister pulled through, my other siblings weren’t so lucky. Few years later, I lost my dad and my mum was left to cater for our needs. Ada and my mum were very precious to me, so I worked hard in secondary school and was at the top of the class the whole time. I got an admission into the university and did small jobs by the side so I could send some money home for my mum and Ada who was now in secondary school and about to write her final exams. 

Things were going well for me and I got good feedbacks from my mum about Ada, and I prayed earnestly to God that he keeps me long enough so I’ll be able to cater for my family.

My third year in school was the beginning of my travails, I got a message from my mum telling me to come home, stating that it has been a while she saw me. I obliged to her request and travelled home, on getting there I saw my sister, Ada with a swollen tummy and a man old enough to be her father by her side which I later got to discover that he was her class teacher in secondary school. I wept and refused to eat, this case to me was like I have been pouring water into a basket, Ada meant so much to me and I had great plans for her but seeing her in that state shattered me. 

I left few days later with a broken heart, I couldn’t concentrate any longer on my studies and even lost the small job I was doing because of my nonchalant attitude.  I lost friends because I would pour my aggression on them and never apologize, my life was a mess, I felt there was no need struggling to be great since the people or rather the person I suffered for has decided to choose her own path.

Staring at the blank paper before me, I knew that if I didn’t pass this exam, I was going to be rusticated from school. 

“Nooooooooooooooo” I shouted

“David! David! What is the matter?” My sister Ada said with her tiny voice.

Opening my eyes, that was when I realized I had been dreaming the whole time. 

The Act of Forgiveness

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness an eleven letter word, easy to say, hard to do. 

“How do I forgive a man who calls himself my dad but walked out on my mum and left her to cater for us because he has found paradise and solitude in the thighs of another woman?”

“How do I forgive that guy who I gave my all too and even my virginity but he still left me and got married to someone else?”

“How do I forgive that friend who betrayed me?”

“How do I forgive that uncle who raped me at a tender age? And made me a night worker because I couldn’t commit to any man?”

How? How? 
These are some questions you’ll be asked when you bring up the topic of forgiveness. I have heard a lot of stories and experienced it myself, I know how we all react to the topic of forgiveness. Especially when you’re a Christian and the pastor brings up this topic and says “Even Jesus said on the cross, father forgive them for they know not what they’re doing” and you sit there silently pondering on that and asking yourself “Was it that easy?” Like Cece Winans said in one of her songs “It wasn’t easy but it was worth it”.

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.- C.S. Lewis

Forgiveness is not easy but it’s necessary we learn as humans to forgive. Some days back, I was having a heated discussion with someone and the next thing this person said was “You had no idea how much hatred I had for you” it sounded very funny and shocking to me because at a point, we stopped talking because I needed to move on, but I knew what I did wasn’t the right thing so I came back to apologize not knowing that the person still carry me for mind, life can be really twisted sometimes. Forgiving a whole lot of people has really helped me a lot, it has made my skin glow, made me more happy, made me sleep without no worries. And you may be asking yourself why should I forgive? I’ll give you reasons why you should forgive
1) Life is too Short

You never know when our maker could call us home. You never know the last goodbyes or when next you’ll have that opportunity, do not postpone. DO IT NOW!
2) To set your soul free

Unforgiveness chokes one’s soul, you know there’s something you ain’t doing right, it’s always there as a reminder. Let go of the hate and forgive, you’ll be content and happy within yourself that you have done he right thing. SET YOUR SOUL FREE!
3) It is a commandment

From the beginning of time, forgiveness has always been a major factor. We were commanded by God to forgive our enemies no matter what they did to us (MATTHEW 6:14-15, MARK 11:25). If we want forgiveness from God, we should also forgive whoever has offended us.
These are the few reasons why you should forgive, they are so many more but these are the major ones for me. We all need forgiveness at a certain point in our life too….so let’s do the right thing.

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody- Maya Angelou

 

I’ll like to hear from you my dear readers, what does forgiveness mean to you? What was the major reason why you forgave a lot of people? Pls do not read without leaving a comment because I also want to learn a few things too. Thanks for reading and God bless.

Let’s Rate! 

Rate time!! 💃🏻💃🏻 


I’m in a very happy mood this morning, you know why?? Don’t worry, you’ll find out at the end of this post.

So this morning, while I was blending beans for moi moi my mind flashed back to The Wedding Party, call it a revelation. There was this scene in the movie, where Shola Showbowale (Iya Dunni) told her daughter Adesuwa Etomi (Dunni) that she cancelled her Caterers and brought in a local food vendor, she got so angry and walked out of her mum, but there was something I picked out from the whole incident, do you know that after the whole charade, the guests wanted to be served food from the local food vendor and didn’t find the stylish dish attractive and appetizing? (Apologies to those who haven’t seen the movie) 

Two lessons are learnt from this particular scene was:

1) We don’t always get what we want from God because he knows this is not the appointed time for whatever you are asking from him.

2) All things would work out for good at the end.

There are several lessons to learn from this scene, but these two just stuck and I decided to share. I started rating how my relationship with God has been, did I ever walk out on him because I felt he was silent? Or he closed certain doors just to open a better one? Was I close to him like i am supposed to be? These were some of the questions I asked myself and right there I just asked God to forgive me for doubting him and being mad at him for not answering certain prayers. 

I couldn’t rate my relationship with God above 5/10 but this year, that has been one of my goals, to be closer to God and know when he’s speaking and when he’s not. Because trust me, we need God daily, not just sometimes or when we seek something. We need him whenever we want to make the right decision, we need him when we want to go into that relationship, we need him when we’re in despair, we need him EVERYDAY.

So, my dear readers, how would your rate your relationship with God? Is it above my own rate or you’re still working on it like I am? Would really love to hear from you. And also if you have a tip that could help me in my Christian walk, do share it. Thank you and God bless.

PS: I’m happy because MMM is back 😂👅😜 (you didn’t see that coming, did you?)

2017…..Yay or Nay?


Hello there…..!!

Happy new year once again, and this is going to be my first post for the year. 10 days gone already, just like that! Wawuuuu…how has it been for you? Truthfully, I was confused at the beginning of this year, I didn’t set any goal but thanks to my Pastor, a flyer was shared in church and at the back of it there was some guidelines on how to set your goals (wasn’t really a guideline per say but it guided me)

2017 so far for me has been amazing! And I pray it continues that way, I was finally able to set my goals (I did it in church, shh!!) and God has been my strength, I’ll definitely share them with you guys but that would be at the end of the year.

For the first time, I actually went for a bloggers hangout with Tonye Igbani and The black writer, it was so much fun!! You can check here and here for the whole gist! I learnt a whole lot from them and I am definitely going to put what I learnt into use. Here are some of the pictures we took:

I’ll be starting a series soon!! (Wait for it!) , but I have got big plans for my blog and I hope they all come to pass. I’ll rate my 2017 so far …6/10

Please I’ll love to hear from you, how has your 2017 been for you? (I know we’re still in the first month) Is it a yay or Nay?

A big thank you to all my readers! I won’t have come this far if not for your loyalty, till next time xx