Broken Dreams

“My name is David Jacobs, I am from a family of 5, the first son and child of my parents. I am from Anambra state, My hobbies are…” 

Pens up! Came the teacher’s voice. Staring at my exam sheet before me, I knew I had failed this particular exam, this was supposed to be an Essay about the economy of my Country but here I was describing myself and telling stories about my family. I couldn’t be blamed, a lot had happened to me over the years and I allowed these issues affect my studies, already wasted my years in school trying to get a BSC in Marketing but I kept failing, all my mates had already gotten theirs and were far ahead of me. Lecturers already gave up on me and even some of my course mates advised me to just quit and go into business.

“David! David!” my sister Ada called out with her tiny voice.

“Mama is calling you oh” she said

Ada was my only sister, I lost my other siblings through a strange sickness, this sickness affected each one of us but I and my sister pulled through, my other siblings weren’t so lucky. Few years later, I lost my dad and my mum was left to cater for our needs. Ada and my mum were very precious to me, so I worked hard in secondary school and was at the top of the class the whole time. I got an admission into the university and did small jobs by the side so I could send some money home for my mum and Ada who was now in secondary school and about to write her final exams. 

Things were going well for me and I got good feedbacks from my mum about Ada, and I prayed earnestly to God that he keeps me long enough so I’ll be able to cater for my family.

My third year in school was the beginning of my travails, I got a message from my mum telling me to come home, stating that it has been a while she saw me. I obliged to her request and travelled home, on getting there I saw my sister, Ada with a swollen tummy and a man old enough to be her father by her side which I later got to discover that he was her class teacher in secondary school. I wept and refused to eat, this case to me was like I have been pouring water into a basket, Ada meant so much to me and I had great plans for her but seeing her in that state shattered me. 

I left few days later with a broken heart, I couldn’t concentrate any longer on my studies and even lost the small job I was doing because of my nonchalant attitude.  I lost friends because I would pour my aggression on them and never apologize, my life was a mess, I felt there was no need struggling to be great since the people or rather the person I suffered for has decided to choose her own path.

Staring at the blank paper before me, I knew that if I didn’t pass this exam, I was going to be rusticated from school. 

“Nooooooooooooooo” I shouted

“David! David! What is the matter?” My sister Ada said with her tiny voice.

Opening my eyes, that was when I realized I had been dreaming the whole time. 

The Act of Forgiveness

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness an eleven letter word, easy to say, hard to do. 

“How do I forgive a man who calls himself my dad but walked out on my mum and left her to cater for us because he has found paradise and solitude in the thighs of another woman?”

“How do I forgive that guy who I gave my all too and even my virginity but he still left me and got married to someone else?”

“How do I forgive that friend who betrayed me?”

“How do I forgive that uncle who raped me at a tender age? And made me a night worker because I couldn’t commit to any man?”

How? How? 
These are some questions you’ll be asked when you bring up the topic of forgiveness. I have heard a lot of stories and experienced it myself, I know how we all react to the topic of forgiveness. Especially when you’re a Christian and the pastor brings up this topic and says “Even Jesus said on the cross, father forgive them for they know not what they’re doing” and you sit there silently pondering on that and asking yourself “Was it that easy?” Like Cece Winans said in one of her songs “It wasn’t easy but it was worth it”.

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.- C.S. Lewis

Forgiveness is not easy but it’s necessary we learn as humans to forgive. Some days back, I was having a heated discussion with someone and the next thing this person said was “You had no idea how much hatred I had for you” it sounded very funny and shocking to me because at a point, we stopped talking because I needed to move on, but I knew what I did wasn’t the right thing so I came back to apologize not knowing that the person still carry me for mind, life can be really twisted sometimes. Forgiving a whole lot of people has really helped me a lot, it has made my skin glow, made me more happy, made me sleep without no worries. And you may be asking yourself why should I forgive? I’ll give you reasons why you should forgive
1) Life is too Short

You never know when our maker could call us home. You never know the last goodbyes or when next you’ll have that opportunity, do not postpone. DO IT NOW!
2) To set your soul free

Unforgiveness chokes one’s soul, you know there’s something you ain’t doing right, it’s always there as a reminder. Let go of the hate and forgive, you’ll be content and happy within yourself that you have done he right thing. SET YOUR SOUL FREE!
3) It is a commandment

From the beginning of time, forgiveness has always been a major factor. We were commanded by God to forgive our enemies no matter what they did to us (MATTHEW 6:14-15, MARK 11:25). If we want forgiveness from God, we should also forgive whoever has offended us.
These are the few reasons why you should forgive, they are so many more but these are the major ones for me. We all need forgiveness at a certain point in our life too….so let’s do the right thing.

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody- Maya Angelou

 

I’ll like to hear from you my dear readers, what does forgiveness mean to you? What was the major reason why you forgave a lot of people? Pls do not read without leaving a comment because I also want to learn a few things too. Thanks for reading and God bless.

Let’s Rate!Β 

Rate time!! πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸ’ƒπŸ» 


I’m in a very happy mood this morning, you know why?? Don’t worry, you’ll find out at the end of this post.

So this morning, while I was blending beans for moi moi my mind flashed back to The Wedding Party, call it a revelation. There was this scene in the movie, where Shola Showbowale (Iya Dunni) told her daughter Adesuwa Etomi (Dunni) that she cancelled her Caterers and brought in a local food vendor, she got so angry and walked out of her mum, but there was something I picked out from the whole incident, do you know that after the whole charade, the guests wanted to be served food from the local food vendor and didn’t find the stylish dish attractive and appetizing? (Apologies to those who haven’t seen the movie) 

Two lessons are learnt from this particular scene was:

1) We don’t always get what we want from God because he knows this is not the appointed time for whatever you are asking from him.

2) All things would work out for good at the end.

There are several lessons to learn from this scene, but these two just stuck and I decided to share. I started rating how my relationship with God has been, did I ever walk out on him because I felt he was silent? Or he closed certain doors just to open a better one? Was I close to him like i am supposed to be? These were some of the questions I asked myself and right there I just asked God to forgive me for doubting him and being mad at him for not answering certain prayers. 

I couldn’t rate my relationship with God above 5/10 but this year, that has been one of my goals, to be closer to God and know when he’s speaking and when he’s not. Because trust me, we need God daily, not just sometimes or when we seek something. We need him whenever we want to make the right decision, we need him when we want to go into that relationship, we need him when we’re in despair, we need him EVERYDAY.

So, my dear readers, how would your rate your relationship with God? Is it above my own rate or you’re still working on it like I am? Would really love to hear from you. And also if you have a tip that could help me in my Christian walk, do share it. Thank you and God bless.

PS: I’m happy because MMM is back πŸ˜‚πŸ‘…πŸ˜œ (you didn’t see that coming, did you?)

THE CHORISTER’S TRAVAIL

Sister Ngozi walked in majestically unaware of the hateful eyes staring at her, all wishing they could be as beautiful, elegant and graceful as she was….she had such a good voice that could melt the heart of whoever cared to listen to her, that explains why she was given the solo lead for every song we sang.Her passion for serving God was seen in her dedication, still unmarried she looked unperturbed. I made her my mentor, since I was still growing in the singing ministry, she was always willing to help and would tap me on my shoulders when I was trying to jump into the off-key zone. But one thing I noticed about her was that she was very secretive, atimes I felt our friendship meant nothing to her, she practically knew everything about me but I barely knew where she was living or who her relatives were…..she was always the last to leave rehearsals, so I barely had time to discuss with her…since I had to rush home because I lived quite far.


She turned down so many suitors, even from the choir…there was a rumor going about one time that even our Choir master, Brother Kelvin asked her to marry him but she refused. Like seriously who in their right state of mind would want to turn down his proposal? He was handsome, god fearing and above all could sing! A lot of females wanted him for themselves but he only had eyes for Sister Ngozi, this made her get a lot of haters and admirers all the same, but she barely noticed.

I got tired of her not seeing me worthy enough to give me details about her personal life, so I decided to meddle in even without invitation or permission. One fateful day, I stayed behind while everyone left and I hid behind the church bookshop and waited for sister Ngozi to come out, she eventually came out after a long time. I slowly followed her, thankfully her destination was close by so I didn’t have to trek for a long time, she finally stopped at a gate and knocked….a little boy about the age of 6 came to open the gate and with a cheerful face he screamed “Mummy has come back! What did you buy for me and Ebere?” He said jumping up and down 

She laughed and said “Let’s go in first sweetheart, and I’ll give you what I bought. Hope grandma took good care of you and my little princess?” She said closing the gate behind her.

I stood far afar off, watching this drama unfolded before me….I needed more answers, so I walked slowly to the gate and knocked…..

All I saw was a person confused, full of secrets, regrets and hatred right in front of me as the gate opened.  
PS: This is a fictional story ❀️

TMI (Too Much Information Tag)


Hey Guys!
Happy New Month! I know I’m so late in saying this, have mercy on me 
I came across this TMI (Too much information ) tag on Funke’s blog you can read hers here

So I decided to jump on it
What are you wearing?  Still in my nighties πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Ever been in love?  Yes….please who hasn’t? πŸ™„

Ever had a terrible breakup? Yes! 

How tall are you?  5’7/ 5’8

How much do you weigh? *Runs to check*

Any tattoos? None. for now!

Any piercings? Yea, just on my ears though. (Two)

OTP (One True Pairing: what’s your favorite fictional couple): Don’t have any

Favourite show: None

Favourite bands? Hillsongs 

Something you miss? My long hair, had to cut it because relaxers damaged it. 

Favourite song: I love too many songs, hard to pick one

How old are you? Izz a personal stuff 

Zodiac sign? Aries 😍❀️

Quality you look for in a partner? God fearing, understanding, FUNNY, caring

 Favourite Quote? 

Favourite actor? Denzel Washington 

Favourite color? That should be brown.
Loud music or soft? Both, depends on my mood

Where do you go when you’re sad? My room, stay there and meditate

How long does it take you to shower? 5-10 minutes

Ever Been in a Physical Fight? Yes.

Turn on: Beautiful dentition, good English, nice scent 

Turn off? :Gossips, dishonesty and lack of the fear of God 

The reason I joined Youtube?: Not on Youtube

Fears?:They’re are too many, but Rapture

Last thing that made you cry : It was a movie, but can’t remember the name

Last time you said you loved someone?: Today

Meaning behind your Youtube/Blogging Name?: This space is too small to explain it.

Last book you read? :No greater love-Danielle Steel

The book you’re currently reading? : None for now 

Last show you watched:King of Hearts
Last person you talked to: My mum

The relationship between you and the person you last texted: I’ll answer this at the right time 😜

Favourite food: Eba and Okro soup

Place you want to visit? : Dubai!

Last place you were?:My sitting room

Do you have a crush?:Yes

Last time you kissed someone?: Been a while …
Favourite flavour of sweet? :It must have a milk taste, that’s why I love buttermint 

What instruments do you play? : Lol none…but I’m working on it.

Favourite piece of jewellery?:My necklace….it has a ring pendant and was also a gift

Last sport you played? :Can’t remember

Last song you sang? :Superhuman – Chris a Brown ft Keri Hilson
Favourite chat up line? :“Wassup??”

Have you ever used it: Every time 

Last time you hung out with anyone: On my POP day ( October 5th/6th)

 Who should answer these questions next?  :Cassie Daves, Fredah, Beth Fayemi, Stephy Lately, thebalckwriter, T2pitchy, Demi Akin and whoever finds this fascinating ❀️❀️

Till next time, much love babies ❀️

HAPPY NEVER AFTER

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My world seemed like it was spinning, I could hear the thumping of my heart….tongue tied and confused with the receiver still in my hand.
“Hello? Hello? Miss Amanda are you still there?” the voice at the other end said
“Ye….ss” I muttered, choking on the tears that was trying to force itself out
“Please we need you to come to the station and identify the body of your fiancee”

Jide and I met during our secondary school days, although he was my senior and ahead of me with a class. We got started on a wrong foot after I stood up to him for punishing my best friend Zainab unjustly, he resented me from that day and tried to make me miserable but it was a failed attempt. After, he graduated… I was elated that my worst nightmare had come to an end, little did I know that fate has a way of bringing two sworn enemies together. We bumped into each other in the university while on my way to lectures.
“Look who we have here” he said with that sarcastic tone in his voice I detested so much
He had become so handsome over the years, I couldn’t help but stare and lust…….this was the beginning of our journey.
Jide hardly gave me breathing space, he would always wait for me after every lecture and taunt me till I got to my hostel….he clearly enjoyed seeing me frustrated. Gradually with time, feelings set in and our relationship was envied by close friends and associates on the campus.  We planned that as soon we both graduate and serve, we would get married, this was our plan until a week to our marriage, I got a call from a nearby police station informing me that there was an accident and everyone lost their life including Jide. The worst part was that the two cars that clashed got engulfed in fire at the same time, the victims were burnt but according to the informant, Jide’s body wasn’t burnt beyond recognition, so I was called to come and identify the body before they take it to the mortuary.
Body trembling… I felt sore, I didn’t feel like traveling  so I got a cab to take me to the police station. On getting there, I demanded to see Jide’s body, his corpse was unraveled but it wasn’t Jide….

PS: I am so sorry I kept you all waiting for posts ,I promise to be more consistent. Would love it if you can also tell me what you have been up to recently, Love y’all 💋💜

Dead Secret

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PHOTO CREDIT: Kiran Kumar

“You’ll never raise a bastard in my house, go and look forΒ  it’s father,” my father said.
“You are a disgrace! How do I face my fellow women?” my mum sobbed.

Staring into space, not a single tear drop, eyes fixed at my parents, a hoarse laughter erupted from my lips. My parents looked at me, shocked. But I couldn’t care less of what was on their minds.

My baby bump was slowly rising, clothes became tighter. The stares I received from friends and relatives became hostile as the days went by. I still didn’t care. Moroever I was the one who knew the real truth about my pregnancy.

“Babe, you need to tell me the truth, how did you get pregnant all of a sudden?” My only friend asked.
I stared at her like she was the one responsible for my pregnancy but she didn’t flinch. She gave me that look of ‘I’m not going anywhere till you tell me the truth.’

Nightmares were my only companions at night. I grew pale gradually yet my parents paid no attention to me, I couldn’t blame them. I had hurt them in so many ways. I clearly understood their anger.

With the last strength in me, I pushed my baby girl into this world She was so beautiful but looked so fragile, the doctor gave me my baby after cleaning her up. Weakly I whispered to her, “your father is your grandfather,” and took my last breathe.

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Thanks to Jay Jay for helping me with the pictures and also editing this post, I’m grateful. He’s also a great writer as well, click on his name and view his blog 😘